I probably need some kind of Aussie icon

It's kind of hard to work up enthusiasm for a day that commemorates not some great act of nationhood, but the day a British fleet landed to build a penal colony, a day which indigenous Australians still regard as Invasion Day. The anniversary of Federation would have been a far better choice for our national day, since that event more truly marks the birth of Australia. It's just a damn shame that the constitutional convenors chose 1 January, leaving us with the messy prospect of stacking Australia Day on top of New Year's Day. So I guess for lack of a better alternative, we're stuck with 26 January.

Still, we get a public holiday. And it's probably more typically Australian to be thinking, "Woot, long weekend!" than swelling with national pride.

My favourite entries on the You know you're Australian if... list:

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".